A Newborn Pony

Imagine for a second (as I'm sure we all have) that you're Hugh Jackman. Internationally acclaimed song and dance man, loved by women and admired by men. You're on the final leg of a seemingly interminable press junket, only interrupted by the sudden urge to host the Oscars. The movie you're promoting is... less than admirable. Scratch that. It's terrible. Waterworld terrible. You're tired of having to pretend that Nicole Kidman is human, and that Baz Luhrmann didn't eat a big box of ritalin before forcing a Mills and Boone novel to rape the cinematographer before shooting started every morning. All you want is a few softball questions and a polite round of applause. And then you find yourself on Japanese TV...



And the next thing you know you're shouting BIG TITS whilst shortly after the doyen of Japanese comedy pretends to be a newborn foal. Japan, we've had our differences but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. HUUUUUGGGGGGSSSSS!